Intimacy Avoidance Comes with Externalization and Blame
8 Comments
In spring of 2018 I wrote a blog post about the cycle of externalization and blame. This dynamic is a familiar one for couples therapists because so
Therapists’ Blog
Welcome to our Therapists’ Blog, where we post insights and innovative techniques for couples therapists. Just scan and click to read the articles below, choose by category on the bottom right, or use the search box above. You can also sign up to receive these by email by providing your name and email address in the box at the bottom of the page.
A Powerful Exercise to Promote the Work of Differentiation in Couples
15 Comments
The differentiation stage is, by far, the most difficult for many couples. Helping each partner set self-focused autonomous goals is crucial to their growth as individuals and
The Couples Conference 2019
9 Comments
This year’s Couples Conference explored 5 major models of couples therapy. These included PACT, Gottman, EFT, Relational Life and the Developmental Model. I had the honor of
Helping couples realize it takes two to manage long-standing pain
3 Comments
Anxiety, anger, and jealousy are emotions I see often in many of the couples I have worked with over the years, and I’m sure it’s no different
Working with The Brilliant Skeptic or Paranoid Adaptation
5 Comments
A while ago I was thinking about specific challenges that can come up in our work with couples – ones that may require us to go “off
6 Personality Adaptations and 3 Doors: a model for knowing where to connect with your clients
7 Comments
What can we do when partners show resistance to our interventions? This is a question that came up recently in my online training group, when a therapist
How to prevent teen dating violence
7 Comments
by Dr. Alazne Aizpitarte Psychologist & Family and Couple Therapist. Researcher in Teen Dating Violence. When we hear of “intimate partner violence,” what suddenly comes to mind
6 Steps to Developing Leadership in Couples Therapy
12 Comments
If I could recommend just one skill for you to develop to become a successful couples therapist, it would be leadership. Leadership is the number one skill
A Closer Look at Early Differentiation
15 Comments
What is real developmental progress? How do we recognize and support it? Many couples in therapy are starting to move from the symbiotic stage into early differentiation.
A Developmental Model for Healthy Couples
2 Comments
Throughout my experience as a couples therapist, I’ve observed that couples relationships typically progress through 5 normal and predictable stages. In healthy relationships, a couple’s development closely
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