Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, Anaheim 2023
Last month I attended the Evolution of Psychotherapy Conference, in Anaheim, CA. Their website identifies this conference as “The Premier Event for Psychotherapy Education.” And this particular one, their first fully live one since the pandemic, was especially anticipated. Another headline read, “Get ready for the best psychotherapy event in six years.” I presented much […]
What dynamics make change so challenging and hard to transcend?
I am stuck at home with COVID when I had planned to be in a beach house with Pete and our grandchildren. I’m feeling tired, disappointed, and also a little fuzzy in the brain. But even that doesn’t stop me from thinking about couples therapy! I am thinking about what happens between two people that […]
Enduring Models of Couples Therapy: What principles have stood the test of time?
Artificial Intelligence is currently one of the hottest topics in news and culture. I find it fascinating to think about with respect to couples relationships and also the client-therapist relationship. I wanted to have some fun kicking off the Couples Conference so I decided to create an Ellyn avatar to point out the paradox of […]
Tools and Questions to Facilitate Change in the Middle Stage of Couples Therapy
For this month’s blog, let’s look at tools and questions you can use to facilitate change in the middle stages of couples work. There is a tendency for therapy to stall in the middle stage of work and for couples to become lazy about doing homework or making changes outside of the room. First, be […]
Making Strong Confrontations in the Aftermath of Infidelity
When a couple comes to see you in the aftermath of infidelity, there are always tough decisions for each partner and also for you, their therapist. In today’s blog, I’ll focus on one type of difficult confrontation you may need to make early in therapy. Consider the situation where each partner has a different agenda. […]
The Questions You Need To Ask Yourself When Working With Long-Term Hostile Dependent Couples
A couple that’s been together for fifty-plus years with a history of alcoholism, violence, and codependency walks into your office… No, this isn’t the beginning of a joke. It’s a common scenario, but there are few therapists around the world that really know how to work well with couples like this. Unless the couple is […]
How The Initiator-Inquirer Process Helps Partners Develop Themselves
In a recent training session, an experienced therapist presented a case about working with a heterosexual married couple who were deeply enmeshed with one another. Both partners handled many aspects of their lives in a positive way, but their relationship was filled with misunderstandings, resentments, and distance. They lacked clear boundaries and healthy ways of […]
Highlights from Couples Conference 2022
In spite of the challenges of putting on another covid era conference, we had a stellar faculty of 10 discussing a wide variety of dynamic topics. Speakers covered everything from anxiety to sexuality – with gender, race and power also in the mix! Participants were mostly online, with just a small group of about 30 […]
Treating Highly Emotional Couples, Part 2
In a recent post, I explored the challenges of working with couples who are so reactive to one another that every session rapidly descends into rage, blame, or tears. It can be hard to come back from this level of emotional chaos, especially when loud voices or aggressive behaviors shake your own sense of balance […]
How to Get the Most From Your Couples Therapy
Couples are often uncertain what to expect from the process of couples therapy. They are not sure of what to expect of the therapist or even if the therapist has any expectations of them. I have found most couples approach therapy with the notion that each person will describe their distress and somehow the therapist […]
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