Hypocrisy, Immorality, Shame and Change
“It’s discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.” ― Noël Coward, Blithe Spirit Today I’d like to share a fascinating piece on hypocrisy from the University of Colorado’s Conflict Research Consortium. They studied how to use confrontation of hypocrisy on a large scale to bring about social […]
Issues that Underlie Hypocritical Binds
Earlier this summer I started a blog series about hypocrisy in couples therapy. I was pleased to see so many of you respond on the blog sharing your own examples of these vexing moments and hypocritical binds in your practice. I promised some follow-up. So here it is, including a video I prepared on the […]
Issues that Underlie Hypocritical Binds
Earlier this summer I started a blog series about hypocrisy in couples therapy. I was pleased to see so many of you respond on the blog sharing your own examples of these vexing moments and examples of hypocritical binds from your practice. I promised some follow-up. So here it is. Many of the partners we […]
Couples Conference Notes for You
I am stuck in the LA airport counting the hours until I can get home and sleep in my own bed. Indefinite delays at the boarding gate are particularly difficult after the hard work and excitement of the Couples Conference. After sitting here for 3 hours, I realize I can pass the time more productively […]
Felony Lies
At the end of last month’s post, I asked you to think about a couple’s unfolding history and share how you would structure treatment after disclosure of an affair and a history of lies and deceit. What might you say to them at the end of the first session? And what would be some considerations […]
Lies to the Self, Lies to the Partner and Lies to the Therapist
When working with a couple in the aftermath of infidelity, how do you approach lies and a history of deception? When is a lie “just a little white lie” and when is it much more serious? Is it a common pattern of deception, does it represent a developmental issue, or is it a character issue? […]
Two Experts’ Insights for Dealing with Infidelity
Here you’ll find Infidelity Conference summaries from Alex Katehakis and Tammy Nelson, focusing on sexuality and eroticism.
Confrontation: Is it Art or Science?
What do you think about when you think about confrontation in couples therapy? Is it something you do a lot? Or rarely? Does thinking of a specific confrontation make you scared or anxious? Or, perhaps creating a well-crafted confrontation leaves you feeling enthusiastic and excited? Do you dread confronting an angry partner for fear that […]
Gifts that Give!
With the holiday season around the corner, the necessity of gift-giving is on most of our minds. Many of us feel pressured to provide and ‘prove’ our love for others in a strictly material way. But, gift-giving is much more than just spending. If done thoughtfully, it can provide a wonderful emotional, social & spiritual […]
Pornography and Cybersex, Trust and Betrayal
This is the second in a series of blog posts highlighting the conference Anatomy of Intimacy – Focus on Infidelity at University of California, Irvine, last month. It was an unusually rich conference and I am pleased to share a bit more of it with you now about presenters Dr. Marty Klein and Drs. John […]
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