Your Yearly Update from the Wisdom 2.0 Conference
Each year I enjoy a special weekend attending the Wisdom 2.0 conference with Pete, our daughter, Molly, and some other special friends. A second pleasure of the Conference is reviewing my notes and sending some insights to you. A central theme explored by this conference is how do we live with wisdom, awareness and compassion […]
Motivation in Couples Therapy
Spotlight on Kenya: Hope for a Better Future
In 2009 a Canadian couple with a dream and $1000 in their nonprofit bank account were inspired to build schools in Kenya for refugees displaced by political and tribal violence. Stu McLaren, an internet marketer and his wife, Amy, a second grade teacher, wanted to bring two things to these communities: hope and education. They […]
Painful Interactions Are Defining Moments in Couples Therapy
Sooner or later you will encounter a situation where one partner is aggressively triggered in your office. They explode after hearing an unexpected comment. At that point they are flooded with emotion and become explosively furious. They often just want to “express their rage” and they definitely don’t want to be interrupted. The spouse can’t […]
To Think or Not to Think
Here are two very different couples therapy resources for you to consider… Long ago I immersed myself in studying object relations theory. Winnicott was one of the many authors I read. Claire Rabin’s book Winnicott and ‘Good Enough’ Couple Therapy brought me back to some of my early roots. However, what I liked even more […]
Kenya: The Transformative Power of Hope
If you have known me for a while, you know that Pete and I are very dedicated to building schools for displaced refugee communities in Kenya. I’ve wanted to write to you for weeks, since returning from our most recent trip. At last I am able to write, after recovering from jet lag and catching […]
Creating Intrapsychic Change in Self-Absorbed Partners
In my previous blog, I started showing you the elegance of using Gestalt two-chair work to transform self-absorbed parts of your clients. With self-absorbed partners, it’s important to recognize that self-absorption is an intrapsychic problem and that you will want to focus intrapsychically in many sessions. It’s also important to note that, during therapy, the […]
Intrapsychic Impasses with Self-Absorbed Partners
We’ve been on a journey together exploring the external behavior of self-absorbed partners. And although they often mislead therapists with detours and distractions, we’ve stayed focused on understanding their behavior and why they often challenge their spouses and their therapists. We reviewed how self-absorbed partners objectify their spouses and push their own interests and desires […]
The Self-Absorbed Partner, Video Two
Click here to better understand the many challenges self-absorbed partners create for couples therapists. Here’s what you’ll learn: what happens when attention is not focused on the self-absorbed partner the primary orientation of self-absorbed partners what self-absorbed partners actually do well six challenges self-absorbed partners create for you, some you may not even realize how […]
The Self-Absorbed Partner, Video One
Click below to watch this video about the troublesome traits of the self-absorbed partner. You’ll want to make sure and catch the following… 2:38, a confession about my counter-transference 3:45, two examples of self-absorbed partners 5:00, how self-absorbed partners behave 7:25, why self-absorption is a problem for the spouse 10:00, my clinical conclusion about what […]
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